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We promise to reply to you within 10 working days. However, we aim to reply to over 90% of all requests within 5 working days - so you won't be kept waiting for long.
But, if you are the kind of people that can't wait, you could visit the excellent 2-in-2-1 site and have a look round their range of resources. Or, if you like numbers, think about using the
Pre-Marriage Percentage Compatibility Rating Test
This was devised by Institute for Social Invention members in response to the engagement announcement of one of its workers. The word 'marriage' is used here in the sense of any relationship likely to involve long-term responsibility in caring for offspring.
Please give marks out of 10 to the following questions ('10 = Very True' down to '0 = Not True At All'). Answer the questions as honestly as possible since you do not have to show the results to anybody else - there is nobody to deceive but yourself.
About half the following questions derive from academic research findings about long-term success and failure in marriage and human relationships.
If both you and your partner are trying this test, it might be diplomatic not to show your marks on individual items to your partner, but simply to discuss your final marks together.
- There is very little conflict in our relationship.
- When there is conflict we handle it very satisfactorily.
- I find myself agreeing with my partner far more often than disagreeing.
- If my partner ended up developing a similar character to his/her parents, or became like them in old age, I would be very happy about this.
- I feel that I can share all my feelings, good and bad, with my partner and that he/she does the same with me.
- My partner is very similar to me in cultural, social, intellectual and economic background and probably in intelligence.
- We share similar philosophies of life or spiritual beliefs.
- We share the same sense of humour.
- My partner's health is good, I would describe him/her as basically a happy person and I don't think he/she is likely to suffer from depressions, obsessions, anorexia or other eating disorders, excessive anxieties or other mental health problems.
- My partner is sensitive and kind and not selfish or self-obsessed.
- If I lived in a society where parents arranged marriages for their children, my partner is just the kind of person my parents might have chosen for me.
- We have a lot of conversational interests in common, I enjoy his/her conversation on a variety of topics and I like his/her friends.
- Judging by track record to date, my partner is monogamous when in a serious relationship.
- We agree on the extent of freedom within marriage as regards other relationships and I therefore don't think jealousy will be a problem for either of us.
- Our sexual relationship is extremely good.
Add up your totals. Take away 10 if you have lived together for less than six months. Divide your total by the maximum possible (150) and multiply by 100 for your Marriage Compatibility Percentage.
If you are less than 70% compatible the authors claim that you may well have to struggle hard to maintain a long-term relationship and might be well advised to delay having children for several years until you are sure that the relationship will work out. Less than 50% compatibility the authors claim could be a sign not to rush into marriage.
Marriage Compatibility Test, c/o Institute for Social Inventions, 20 Heber Road, London NW2 6AA (tel 020 8208 2853; fax 020 8452 6434.
Connections Counselling Ltd
(Registered in England No: 4361171) 8
Grafton Road, King's Lynn, Norfolk, UK, PE30 3HA
Phone +44 (0)7050 694775, Fax +44(0)7050 694776
Affiliated to Marriage Resource
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